Oct 23

<body topmargin=0 leftmargin=0 marginheight=0 marginwidth=0> <table cellpadding=0 cellspacing=0 border=0><tr> <td valign="top" height=125 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="094f0f21egerdp.jpg"> <div> <B><IMG SRC="095203c0.jpg" border=0 width="32" height="60" ALIGN="BOTTOM" HSPACE="0" VSPACE="0"></B><FONT SIZE="5" COLOR="#66334C" FACE="Arial" ><B>Desiderata's Diary</B></FONT><B>      |     </B><A HREF="index.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Desideratas Diary"><U><B>home</B></U></A></div> <div> <B>Oct 23</B><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id28.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 1,2"><U>Nov 1,2</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id36.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 3"><U>Nov 3</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id26.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 4"><U>Nov 4</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id25.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 7"><U>Nov 7</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id24.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 9"><U>Nov 9</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id23.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 10"><U>Nov 10</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id38.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 14"><U>Nov 14</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id42.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 16"><U>Nov 16</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id39.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 17"><U>Nov 17</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id40.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Nov 18"><U>Nov 18</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id41.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sep 23"><U>Sep 23</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id43.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Sep 24"><U>Sep 24</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id44.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Oct 4"><U>Oct 4</U></A><B>   |   </B><A HREF="id45.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Oct 8"><U>Oct 8</U></A></div> <div> <A HREF="id3.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="My journal"><U><B>My journal</B></U></A><B>  |  </B><A HREF="id2.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="About Me"><U><B>About Me</B></U></A><B>  |  </B><A HREF="id4.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Wav Sounds"><U><B>Wav Sounds</B></U></A><B>  |  </B><A HREF="id5.htm" TARGET="_top" TITLE="Favorite Links and contacting me"><U><B>Favorite Links and contacting me</B></U></A></div> </td> </tr><tr> <td valign="top" height=355 BGCOLOR="#FFFFFF" TEXT="#080000" bgproperties="fixed" background="096f0f03.jpg"> <div> <I>Oct 23</I></div> <bR> <div> <I>10-23-00</I></div> <div> <I>Dear Diary,</I></div> <div> <I>Let me just tell you what I did today... Remember I told you about my new ability to shrink people? And the guy, Ed, that I met?  Things have been going pretty well... that is until two days ago.  He was really sweet to me one day, made me feel extraordinarily special so I told him I would give him a treat.  He chose that I write him a story.  Make a long story short, because there is a lot more story to divulge, I wrote him his story, e-mailed it to him... and nothing.  I heard absolutely nothing from him for a few days, and I started feeling ignored... so here's what I did...</I></div> <div> <I>I stood in front of Ed's apartment door, prepared to give h</I><I>im</I><I> the surprise of his life-he had no idea that I had flown in or that I even knew where he was staying.  I took a deep breath and slowly let it out.  I lifted my chin a little higher and fixed a pleasant expression on my face.  Only my eyes, as they danced and sparkled, expressed the turmoil of my emotions.  I shifted the bag from my right hand to my left and sharply knocked on the door.  A look is worth ten thousand words, or is it a touch that's worth ten thousand words?  Regardless, it was almost enough just to see the look on Ed's face when he opened the door to find me standing there.  I smiled a small smile and he recovered enough to let me in.  He stood there, shifting from one foot to the other, obviously perplexed and at a loss.  Seconds turned into a minute turned into two minutes.  I broke the excruciating silence, "Come here."  He took a few steps and stood less than an arm's length away.  I watched thoughts skip through his mind, I drew strength from my element of surprise.  "Shouldn't you be on your knees by now?"  He hesitated a beat before he dropped to his knees at my feet.  "My Goddess," he whispered, "I am so fortunate you came to see me."  I felt the now-familiar icy fingers of rage in the pit of my stomach, dancing and prowling through every inch of me.  My rage exploded from me in waves and attacked Ed as he knelt before me.  The cramping and aching pulled his beautiful face into a grimace as his bones, muscles and cells shrank and compacted. Sweat beads popped out on his forehead and his hands clenched into tiny tight fists.  Smaller, smaller, even smaller he shrank, pain distorting his entire world.  I opened my eyes and looked down at him... way, way down at him.  Never had I shrunk him this much.  A giggle escaped me... he looked like a dark-haired Q-tip lying there.  A serenity replaced the iciness of anger.  As always, the contentment and the warmth of satisfaction rushed in and brought a bright smile to my face and I looked peaceful.  This is always Ed's favorite part of the whole process... when his pain faded and my delight magnified.  Being able to stand in awe of the quiet and blissful beauty that radiated from me in the minutes following a display of my power was worth any pain or suffering he'd endured.  I scooped his tiny and helpless body up in my hand.  I knew that he loved to look at me, especially at this time, and I allowed him this pleasure... albeit momentarily.</I></div> <div> <I>Ed's kitchen wasn't hard to find.  I sat him on the counter and placed the bag beside him, letting him wonder what was in it and what was going to happen to him.  I rummaged in his cupboards, looking for a blender... I made more noise than necessary, just to taunt him.  I finally found the blender and sat it beside him on the counter.  He stood there so boldly, so courageously... my little toy soldier, brave until the end.  I felt the smallest of tugs at my heart for what I had planned, but I quickly dismissed it.  I took out the contents of my bag, setting first a bottle of Cuervo Gold, a bottle of margarita mix and finally, I dropped a lime on the counter.  Ed stood warily out of the way of the items, silently watching and evaluating the situation.  I went to retrieve an ice tray from the freezer... and a thought came to mind.  I grabbed one of Ed's tiny arms... shivers of excitement shooting through me because my fingers were bigger around than he was.  I sat him on the ice tray and laughed as he began to jump from one foot to the other.  "Hop down," I commanded.  I could tell that it hurt him to land on his almost-frozen feet, I could tell that pain shot up his legs and jolted him terribly... and excitement churned inside me.</I></div> <div> <I>I hummed a tune under my breath as I poured everything into the blender.  Adrenaline coursed through Ed's veins as he stood there, still shrewdly and cautiously watching my actions.  He remained calm outwardly, but I could tell that fear was beginning to creep in and the training in him was beginning to take over.  He was looking for an escape, he was torn between doing as I commanded and survival.  Would I punish him more severely if he tried to run?  Was I just teasing him?  What was I going to do, if anything?  The tension and suspense built in him, every one of his senses sharpened as his instincts took over.  I, in the meantime, was having a blast mixing my cocktails.  Margaritas and shrinking men... doesn't get much better than this!  I turned the blender on high.  The vibrations knocked noble Ed to his hands and knees.  The noise was loud to me, it must have been absolutely deafening to his puny ears.  I took a spoon and dropped a few drops on the counter.  "Lick it up," I ordered, "you're going to need all the help you can get, liquid courage or otherwise."  I sipped my cocktail, Ed crawled over to one of the droplets and began lapping it up.  I enjoyed watching him rush to obey my command... even though I knew it wasn't going to do him a damn bit of good.  I dumped the rest of the pitcher and what was left in my glass down the sink and began the makings of a new pitcher.  A new and deeper fear took root in the pit of his stomach... he didn't trust me.  I reached towards him with my index finger outstretched like a perch.  "Grab hold," I said.  My pet wrapped both his arms and legs around the tree-trunk sized finger before him.  I very slowly lifted him and moved towards the pitcher.  I prolonged the inevitable, the trepidation that built in Ed excited me beyond belief.  I held him over the mixture, letting the odor waft up, letting it sink in that I could very easily drop him in.  Realization flooded through him, and he panicked as much as his training would allow.  Thoughts raced through his mind, should he let go now?  The calculation of surviving the drop from my finger to the counter warred with the possibility of catching the rim of the pitcher... if he dropped into the blender, could he swim out before I turned it on?  Should he try to beg for mercy?  Maybe I wouldn't really drop him... maybe I would be merciful.  I turned the blender on, one option faded... the noise thundered around him, the moving air made him sway slightly.  The chunking as the metal rotors ate the ice cubes was deafening.  Ed's hands were getting sweaty-major for a soldier of his caliber-and his grip was loosening and slipping.  He frantically tried to re-grip but I shook my finger just enough to keep him off balance.  His hands fell off my finger completely and he desperately clung to me with his legs.  His head was a lifetime above the swirling mixture, he was helpless to my whim and desire.  The little muscles popped out on his legs, mere threads of pure energy trying to hold on.  I shook my hand a little more and he swung wildly... he reached for the rim, he tried to swing back up and grab my finger with his hands again... nothing worked.  I stopped shaking my finger and pointed my finger towards the blender instead.  He slid headfirst down my finger like an oversized ring, gaining momentum as he slipped off the tip and plunged towards the whirring blender.  A half second before he landed in my margarita I deftly caught him with my other hand.  "My pet," I murmured, instilling a shred of confidence in my gentleness.  He laid there, either too afraid or too grateful to move even the slightest bit.  His chest pumped, his heart pounded, his eyes were tightly clenched.  I waited, patience was my temporary virtue.  Just as his breathing was almost normal, I tilted my hand and dumped him into the still furiously spinning, icy mixture.  The surprise, or maybe the coldness, took his breath away.  He swam valiantly against the strong current, he tried hopelessly to reach the side of the pitcher.  The ice chips bombarded him like boulders, the strong pull of the metal blades pulled him further and further down into the black hole of margarita mix.  My Ed lasted longer than I expected him to... but the cold and fatigue were taking their toll.  His head went under once, popped back up... he fought for his life.  He disappeared again and this time he didn't resurface.  My toy became just another ice cube being chopped into pieces by the metal machetes.  A bright red stripe started from the bottom of the pitcher and slowly turned the whole concoction crimson.  I filled my glass to the rim with the new, redder batch.  There was a small amount left at the bottom of the blender... I lifted it to my mouth and let the cold, red slush slide down my throat.  A shit-eating grin flashed across my face and showed my dimple as I wiped a dribble from the corner of my mouth.  I licked the dribbling coldness from my finger... lost in lustful and satisfied peacefulness.  I strolled down to the beach with my cocktail.  I relaxed in a lounge chair and sipped my Ed-margarita as I watched the sun slip into the ocean and fade into yesterday.  And I was happy.... I was happy because for once Ed was completely mine... and completely a part of me... his power, his strength, his courage... they were now MY power, MY strength, MY courage... and I was happy and at peace.</I></div> </td> </tr></table></body>